recently i'm getting q out of sorts,
lacking the soul meets body aspect.
it seems as though i cant rationalise anymore.
even when things happen,
i just dont feel it anymore.
immuned; not attuned.

i think i'm becomming a very angry person.
that day when james climbed over the table
and stepped on my file, i sorta shouted "EH!"
the other day, cus of some reason,
my disappointment turned to anger
that anger still lives in me.
it'd stay for q some time.

my two paragraphs have contradicted one another.

i guess thats what going on now
internal complexities and struggles
the rising tension.

just start questioning alot of things
the people around
the environment
being cynical and skeptic

thinking too deeply into issues
turning the simplicities into complexities
mind forged menacles

the piercing silence.

i liked it when we climbed up the steep slope just now
the walking, the talking, the exploring
the perspiration
it somehow made me a little more alive

i rmb during njkc
early morning before all the races
there was this man who was practicing his lung power
shouting from one end of macritchie to the other side
i see it as throwing away all the troubles that are bottled up in him
clearing his heart
making space for whats coming next

just sit down at the bustop for another 2+hrs
and talk.

on the bus home today
i observed that a ratio of 8:10 people sit on the inner side of the bus
leaving an empty space near the aisle.
it seems as though these people are waiting for something
inviting someone into their lives
to sit next to them through the journey.
it is waiting, hoping and wishing.
yet sometimes it all ends up as nothingness.

yet the two people sitting on the outer seats,
putting up a brave front
being coldblooded, shutting the doors of their lives
refusing others to gain entry into their thoughts.
yet the chivarly crumbles
the facade falls off and
their inner scaredness is exposed.
revealing what little they have.

somehow, this soothes me.
no longer feel the urge to start screaming
no longer feel the spurt of angst.

maybe its fading away for good.
maybe its just for a short while.

and before i immerse myself into my previous state once again
i'd like to say-
its odd.